Feedback: How to Give and Receive Constructive Criticism

How do you handle feedback?

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The dreaded criticism.

No likes getting criticism, especially the negative ones because it hurts our ego. No one likes to hear that the product or idea we’ve put lots of work into, gets demolished by a few words of feedback. And when it does hurt, we lash out, retreat and seek out another person for validation. Unfortunately, that’s not how one grows and improves, more so when it comes to writing.

Giving criticism seems less strenous and easy to do, but requires more effort. I’m willing to bet we’ve relied on the good ol’ “I didn’t like it” or “It was good” phrases. Neither helps the receiver because they don’t know what you didn’t like and what was good. It’s simply vague. For writers, we need specifics.

So, giving and receiving feedback is an essential part of the writing process. It helps writers identify blind spots, refine their work, and grow in their craft. However, giving and receiving feedback effectively requires letting go of the ego, being open, and having a growth mindset.

1. How to Give Constructive Criticism

Giving feedback often requires a mixture of three ingredients:

• Be Specific

• Balance Criticism with Praise

• Focus on the Work, Not the Writer

Specific feedback helps everyone regardless of their profession. It helps the receiver understand the issue and provides a clear path for improvement. Having vague comments like “this doesn’t work” or “your story is boring” (ouch) doesn’t help anyone at all.

So, pinpoint exactly what isn’t working. Specifically detail what part of the story was boring. Suggest ways to improve. For example:

• Vague Critique for an Author: "Your story is boring."

  • Specific Feedback: "The pacing slows down in Chapter 3 because there’s too much exposition. Try adding more dialogue or action to keep readers engaged."

• Vague Feedback for a Marketer: "Your presentation was awful."

  • Specific Feedback: "The data slides were hard to follow. Simplify the charts and use bullet points to highlight key takeaways for better clarity."

• Vague Feedback for a Content Creator: "Your video was bad."

  • Specific Feedback: "The intro took too long to get to the main point. Try cutting the first 10 seconds and jumping straight into the hook to grab viewers’ attention."

See how constructive those critiques were? You’re giving the person specific points to take action on. But you can take it a step further by balancing it with praise. We often fallback on overly praising the person as to not offend or hurt them. But this is the wrong approach.

Start by highlighting what they did well before diving into the bad. By layering the feedback this way, it helps the individual stay motivated and open to more to criticism. For example:

• For the Author: "Your descriptions of the world are vivid and the characters feel real, but I did notice the pacing slowing down in Chapter 3. Maybe tightening it up some scenes or maybe replace some scenes with quick action to keep readers engaged."

Balancing praise with critique makes whoever’s receiving, feel valued. Speaking of making the individual feel valued, you’ll notice that the criticisms are about the work, not the person doing the work.

In other words, I don’t say “you’re a bad writer” or “you’re an awful marketer”. That’s just plain wrong. The key is to frame your feedback in terms of the work itself and not the person who produced the work. Avoid personal judgements and keep the critiques objective, this way they don’t feel personally attacked.

2. How to Receive Constructive Criticism

It’s easy to take criticism personally especially as an author, but remember that feedback is about learning and improving, not about your worth as a writer. I’ve learned to detach myself from my ego, acknowledge the good/negative critiques then choose to take action based off what I’ve received. So how does one detach from the ego? Try these steps:

• Separate Yourself from your Work

  • Instead of thinking, “they’re saying I’m a bad writer,” think “they’re helping me make my story stronger.” This mindset shift makes it easier to accept critiques without being all defensive.

• Ask Questions for Clarity

  • If specific feedback is lacking, unclear or downright confusing, ask for clarification! Ask for specifics like “what do you mean by the video was bad?” or “you mentioned the pacing feels off? Where exactly did my story drag on?”

• Take What Resonates and Leave the Rest

  • Not all criticisms are helpful. And that’s okay! Acknowledge and consider each critique but only take action on the suggestions that align with you and your work. For example, if someone suggests changing your protagonist’s personality but you feel like it’s central to the story (and that you based that character off of your own personality). Simply thank them for their input and trust your gut!

Personally, I see feedback as data. I see myself as a researcher, gathering information and then analyzing them to identify patterns and insights to improve my work. Every critique is a data point, helping me understand what works and what needs adjustment.

What Next?

Constructive criticism is a gift and it helps you see your work through fresh eyes and pushes you to grow, especially as a writer. Yes, feedback still stings sometimes but when you remind yourself that it’s just data and not a judgment of your worth, you can roll up your sleeves, and get back to work. It’s not easy but the more critiques you can get, the more information you can use to grow. So don’t shy away from giving or receiving constructive criticisms. It helps everyone!

An informative short video by Simon Sinek!

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