Book 3 on your journey to change your life is “The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday.

Holiday writes a modern take on the ancient philosophy of Stoicism and offers practical and insightful tips for overcoming challenges, struggles, setbacks, failures etc… Like the “Ambushes” illustrated by Jason Redman in his book “Overcome” (discussed in Part 2), Holiday advises us to look at obstacles as stepping stones to success and depending on how you look at it, obstacles show you the way to a path you were meant to be on.

Long story short, I was hit with a life-changing obstacle in June 2023. I asked myself what do I do now? Amidst the anxiety of my thoughts, there was one thing I wanted to do: to take a walk. So I did, and in my calm, peaceful state of strolling along the Ottawa canal, I discovered Stoicism.

Luckily (and for some unknown reason), the first few days of my shocking life obstacle, I heard a voice inside me say ‘things are gonna be alright. Just go for a walk, clear your head and think things through’. It was weird hearing that voice; it provided me with a sense of calm and tranquility and motivation to ‘take Action’ and find ways to get through this episode.

And so I went out and put on a Lewis Howes’ “The School of Greatness” podcast and through his content, I discovered Ryan Holiday and Stoicism. I wasn’t sure if it was serendipitous or synchronicity that I discovered Stoicism or I ‘attracted it/manifested it’ in some way; what can I say is that it was a miracle I found Stoicism (and found it in Lewis Howes and Jason Redman’s books) and the philosophy has shifted my mindset or rather changed my perception on my life, for the better.

And Stoicism can do that for you too.

The “Obstacle is the Way” has a chalk full of useful information, each giving me a huge boost in motivation and hope. Here are a few I internalized:

• “We decide what we will make of each and every situation. We decide whether we’ll break or whether we’ll resist.” (p.21)

• “When you have a goal, obstacles are actually teaching you how to get where you want to go - carving you a path.” (p.8)

• “You are iron-spined and possess a great and powerful will…you realize that life is a trial. It will not be easy, but you are prepared to give it everything you have regardless, ready to endure, persevere , and inspire others.” (p.180)

So, what does this all mean then? To illustrate, let’s use my “Sailing Seas” analogy: We already established a Navigator (based off of Jason Redman’s “Overcome”) who’ll guide you through any stormy seas, and we have a First Mate (based of Lewis Howes’ “The Greatness Mindset”) who’ll inspire and push you to keep going. So, now we’re missing a crucial piece: the BOAT.

The boat = YOUR MIND. Can’t sail any seas without a boat. And the stronger the boat (stronger the mind), the more you can handle.

Just like the seas, Life can be peaceful at times then out of nowhere, it gets rough real fast. You get hit with a sudden setback and/or failure, and suddenly your life is spiraling out of control. But it doesn’t have to be that way. One of Stoicism tenets is that we have CONTROL over certain aspects of our lives - mainly things that are internal to us such as:

• Our Thoughts

• Beliefs

• Attitudes

• Actions

• Values

Basically our JUDGEMENTS of things we have complete CONTROL over. Things outside our control are:

• Other people’s opinions

• External circumstances

• Natural events

• Actions of others

The things outside of our control sounds a lot like the “stormy seas” doesn’t it? Stoicism posits that we shouldn’t be concerned with or to be emotionally invested in circumstances that happens out of our control. For example, say you’ve put a lot of effort into writing a book then published it. You’re eager to see the outcome and suddenly, you read a scathing negative review. What would Stoicism ask you to do then?

Most people would go to the extremes, either going into a blood-boiling rage (and we’ve seen authors do that) OR go deep into the icy depths of despair, fearing never to write a book again.

Stoicism says ignore it!

Stoicism states to recognize things that are NOT IN YOUR CONTROL, and direct your energy to things that are IN YOUR CONTROL! Stoicism encourages individuals to accept the things outside your control, accept the things that happened, both positive and negative, and to keep taking ACTION towards our purpose. Stoicism helps you cultivate an inner resilience to the setbacks/failures that life brings us, so that we can keep pushing forward towards our goals.

FOCUS on your ACTIONS, FOCUS on what you can CONTROL and keep doing it towards your ‘Meaningful Mission” ( or purpose).

What helps me to this day is by focusing in the PRESENT moment. Forget about the past because it’s already gone, and don’t think about the future because it isn’t here yet. What you can do within your Control, is to keep taking the necessary steps to reach you goal, whatever that is.

So, with all that being said, your boat is your mind. The stronger the boat, the more ‘obstacles’ you can handle in life. And Stoicism can help you with that.

Thus, I urge you to give “The Obstacle if the Way” a read and even if you’re not keen on internalizing an ancient Philosophy, at least use some of the information Ryan Holiday gives. Trust me it’ll help you a lot.

As Robert Greene puts it in his book ‘Mastery’ - “Think of yourself as an explorer. You cannot find anything new if you are unwilling to leave the shore.” (p.181)

Thank you for reading my 3-part series on Books that changed my life. I do hope that you give them a read and let me know if they do!

Check out this insightful video about why I love and practice Stoicism! Say “Hi” to Ryan for me!

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