3 Ways I learned to handle criticism and Feedback as a New Writer.
Me calling Mom when I read a bad review. (Note: Hasn't happened. Yet.)
Here’s my hot take: Authors should read their own negative reviews.
Why? Receiving feedback and criticism isn’t a bad thing. It’s good for us. We need it to learn and grow especially as writers. On a practical level, we get to see if our writing resonates with readers or not—what they liked, what they disliked. Was the prose bad? Too much exposition? Not enough descriptions?
On a subjective level, it’s a good way to keep the EGO in check and to make us humble. All too often in the book publishing scene, we hear authors go “off the rails” when they read a negative review (Google it, there’s some crazy stories). One can tell that the comments hurt their ego and pride and as a result, they took the wrong action.
I believe that by reading negative reviews about your writing (or your work in general) you not only build up the strength and resiliency to handle reviews but also develop the mental maturity to take the appropriate action—that is to learn and grow.
So here are 3 ways to handle Feedback and Criticism:
Separate yourself from your work.
Look for (constructive) patterns.
Be open to receive but also trust yourself.
1. Detach from your work.
I’ll start by saying that humans develop the EGO to survive. Without this subconscious part of us, we wouldn’t see nor react to things that could potentially be dangerous to us. The ego is good to have because it protects us. Nowadays unfortunately, with the advent of social media, ego has extended to see “figurative” dangers—things that in reality, really don’t hurt us at all, such as words on the internet (aka: feedback, criticism, insults etc…).
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
In the case of creative works like novels, we must learn that criticisms are about your writing, not about you as a person. Detach yourself (emotionally) from your work so you can see feedback more objectively and use it to improve and grow without feeling discouraged. Be indifferent to their words.
I do understand the need to defend your work. You put blood, sweat and tears into creating something beautiful, only to have it be torn apart. It sucks. I get it. But you can’t let it get to you and you definitely can’t react and resort to taking negative actions. You’ll let the ego win. Ask yourself: who’s in control of my life? Me or my EGO?
Remember, the opinions are about your work, not you. And they’re just opinions—not fact.
2. Look for Constructive Patterns.
Based on what I said above, you maybe wondering if you should ignore ALL criticisms and feedback. Don’t.
Here’s the kicker: If everyone is saying the same thing—if they all have the same feedback about your work—then maybe it’s something to work on. For example, if the consistent criticism was about poor character development, then perhaps you should work on creating more depth to your protagonists.
Amazing quote from Steven Bartlett.
If you think you failed because of the harsh criticism you received, think again!
Feedback = Knowledge = Power!
The idea is simple: you can’t please everyone. Everyone has a preference, everyone has an opinion on something. But if the majority of readers point out the same issue—specifically in your writing—then they’re likely onto something. Thus, use this criticism as a tool to learn and grow towards becoming a better writer. Filter out the unhelpful and vague comments and focus on the ones that have substance, even if they’re negative. Which leads to our final point…
3. Be open to the feedback but also trust yourself.
Not all feedback will align with your vision. It’s your job to filter out the ones that resonate with you and adds value to your work. Respectfully disregard what doesn’t fit then move on to the next criticism. It’s your work and not every opinion will fit into your story.
The key is to be open to learning, improving and adapting. You’ll know when a criticism about your work is there to help you improve. You’ll see it in their writing. Take what enhances your writing and what could elevate you as a writer then ignore the rest. Trust yourself to know the difference between what is criticism or critiques and what is a blatant, negative comment about your work.
And that’s it! I hope that this blog post helped you figure out a way to handle the plethora of feedback and criticism out there. It can be overwhelming but I know you’ll pull threw and learn. Good luck!
A hilarious vid on taking criticism! Worth the watch.
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